Five Years of Sobriety

I did not have an addiction to alcohol, but I did have an “addiction and a need” to please people and a fear to say NO.

“The word ‘no’ is a full sentence”.

I rarely drank. The occasional 1-2 drinks while on a date with my husband, the occasional social gathering or holidays.

So you may be wondering why then did I decide to stop drinking?

That list is totally fine but some have more tolerance or self-control than others. Sometimes I do wish alcohol didn’t affect me the way it did. That it wasn’t so toxic for my mind, body, & spirit. Except it was.

My decision was on self-reflection & doing an inventory of my past decisions. I realized drinking brought me nothing good. In fact, it robbed me from all the things that I value the most.

I want to be super clear, I am not judging anyone. if you do drink, that is your decision and I will never bash it out. I am just sharing that for me, drinking wasn’t good for my heart and mind. Alcohol is the gateway to my old life, a sinful life that in the eyes of others it was okay because that’s what’s accepted but in reality it broke me every time. See, God has saved my husband and I from multiple car wrecks, getting home only God knows how, waking up to not remembering anything, friends making claims I have no idea how or why they happened, all while I was a mom and a wife?

How about the hangover? The horrible stomach pains & long days after drinking?

or not being able to make breakfast for my kids or function because I’m literally so sick?

Or how about my family background?

My bio-dad is an alcoholic, his father and grandfather, my maternal grandfather also an alcoholic, so why in the world would I make this okay for me and my children?

This is my conviction. I am done with being manipulated, pressured, or left feeling like I’m missing out because I’m choosing to be sober minded, grounded, and be reminded that prior to drinking I always had a great time & I don’t need alcohol to be who I am. It’s up to me to break generational brokenness and stop the hurtful patterns that have been passed down to us. I’m okay with not fitting in anymore & being loud about this because way too many families and lives are being broken by this substance. Let’s face it, drinking is plastered in songs, Hollywood, social norms as it is not the worst drug out there? Is this just because it’s legal? I don’t think so. As a society we keep trying to normalize that these drugs wether they are prescribed or not will help us face our issues when in reality we are not addressing what bothers us at the core. Alcohol takes more lives than any other drug out there so why do we tolerate it so much?

Just to be clear. My church didn’t “make” me stop drinking or anyone else. This was God taking me out of the rabbit whole I was in thinking I was successful, popular, and on my own pedestal when in reality my life was falling apart. I had nothing without God. So yes, I am choosing this lifestyle not only because of me but my children.

God says: “As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.” 2 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Here’s to five years sober and the continued faithfulness God has shown me over the years. He’s called upon me my whole life, it’s just taken me this long to really see. See Him.

Love,

Maria José